Down in the L.A. , just me and my baby

My entire life right now is shaped around the feeding and care of two small children. I am either making food, feeding it to others and myself, putting someone down for a nap or to bed and then trying to recover from these activities.

I'm pretty obsessed with making everything I can from scratch. I look at a package of tabouli mix, and compare it with the giant package of cracked bulgar wheat on the shelf near it for half the price, and wince. Do I feel guilty? Am I trying to prove something? Perhaps I'm cheap? No, that's not it, I am definitely not cheap. Partly I am motivated to avoid unnecessary additives found in most convenience foods. But it's more than that. It's actually progress for me to buy it anyway and save myself the time.

Here's the question I asked my husband. "Do I look as bad as I feel?" He just stared at me, and stammered .

"Don't answer that." I responded. And because he's a good husband, he didn't.